Writing Rubric Score Explanation:
These samples are not intended to be benchmark papers for any particular score, but rather a sampling of the variety of papers a teacher might expect for a given prompt. Some students may be writing above or below the levels of work shown. The samples, however, are intended to give teachers help in scoring papers by showing the variety of ways students may approach a prompt.
Students receive a score of 2 if their work exhibits a solid overall demonstration of the criteria. Students receive a score of 1 when there is a question of whether the paper exhibits the criteria or if it is clear that the student only has a partial understanding of the criteria. Students receive a score of 0 when their work does not demonstrate the criteria at all, or shows no understanding of the criteria. It is important to look at the individual subsection scores as well as the student’s overall score because some students may have a deficit in one area that may not be evident from the total score.
Please note: These examples are from a 2006-2007 field test. The prompts and planning space have been adjusted since then, so students’ scores, especially in the ideas and content area, may be slightly different using the 2008-2009 assessments.
Gloss: I think T.V. is bad for you because it won’t keep you active. Lots of kids watch it all day. But sometimes it may be helpful. Channels including The Weather Channel and news are very helpful. T.V. sometimes is a great way to bring the family together. You could watch a movie on Fridays.
Notes: Student writes an opinion paragraph that shows two sides of an issue.
Ideas and Content: The student writes most of the full text of the paragraph on the planning page and then copies it onto the writing pages. The writer’s opinion that “TV is bad” is supported by evidence that “it won’t keep you active.” On the other hand, the writer gives evidence that TV is also helpful and supports this with evidence too (“Weather Channel and news.”)
Organization and Focus: The paper’s topic is not immediately clear because the writer does not provide a title and the first sentence does not capture the student’s main idea. It is clear that the focus of the paper is whether TV is good or bad, and the writer gives opinions on both sides of the argument. The paper is organized in a logical way (using the word “But” to give the other side of the issue) and with specific facts following the writer’s opinions. The ending of the paper seems a little weak because it lacks a conclusion to bring all of the pro and con ideas together.
Style: The writer has a good sense of audience. The writing, though not extremely colorful, has some adult-like sayings “great way to bring the family together” and “channels including…” which add some personality to the paper.
Conventions: The writer demonstrates a good understanding of complete sentences and punctuation.
Gloss:Why T.V. is Bad (title) I think that T.V. is bad because it brain washes kids/adults brain. They get hypnotized and don’t have time to do anything important, it also makes them talk back to parents and think they can do anything. And it causes anger issues. Like the kids get stressed when someone tells to turn it of[f] and do homework, practice instruments, etc. Kids are slowly growing apart from my family. I mean wouldn’t playing a nice game of Candyland be better. But it doesn’t stop there, the big problem—“That’s for babies!” they say. If you actually play it you’ll find it is kinda fun. My parents at first had cable. But then they realized I did not do anything at all but stare and complain if the turned it of[f]. So they got rid of it. And then they got it back –but didn’t tell me. So I didn’t want to watch it. But I somehow found out but I found out that I didn’t really care. I mean the news is good, sometimes. And P.B.S. is good. But come on wouldn’t a nice Harry Potter book be nicer? Sometimes I’m tempted to pull the plug out at some of my friend’s houses. And I feel like T.V. is just another one of those modern inventions that doesn’t really do any good. I read a book about a worm that whatever he eats, as in if he ea[s]t a page with the word T.V. it will disappear forever. I wish that was true. That’s why I thing T.V. is bad.
Notes: Student writes a lengthy “stream of consciousness” opinion paper.
Ideas and Content: The student writes 3 brief bullets that answer the questions in the planning pages, but does not really make a plan for the paper and does not include the planning bullets in the paper. The student includes lots of opinions and many are supported with details.
Organization and Focus: The focus and organization of this paper are confusing. Though the writer generally focuses on the benefits and pitfalls of T.V., he or she spends a lot of time digressing about when his or her parents got rid of cable and trying to convince the reader that Candyland is not a “baby” game. The writer tries to create some sense of organization by using a concluding sentence after the series of rambling sentences.
Style: It is obvious from this paper that this student likes to write, has lots of opinions, and thinks reading and playing games are good alternatives to T.V. Though the writer displays some sense of audience, it is unclear who the intended audience is because the tone changes throughout the paper from more formal such as “it causes anger issues” to conversational with “come on” and “I mean.”
Conventions: This student appears to write very quickly, leading to words being left out, misspellings, fragments, etc. Twice the word “off” is spelled “of” Some of the letters are incorrectly formed and look like different letters “a” like “u” , ‘h’ like ‘n’, etc.
Gloss: T.V. is Good (title) TV is good because some of the shows are educational. And the TV talks about real life so kids know what to do when they grow up. And it lets adults know what’s happening around the world. And what the weather is. If they’re going on vacation and what roads to take if they’re jammed. The end.
Notes: Student writes a paragraph that justifies his or her opinion.
Ideas and Content:The student uses a sketch to plan his or her paragraph which shows a person watching “math” on the T.V. The paper strays a little from the prompt’s topic because it discusses T.V. and adults rather than just children. The writer uses specific details to support the idea that T.V. is good (it is educational, tells about life, world events, etc.) Though the wording is a little awkward, the topic is developed.
Organization and Focus: The writer uses “The End” as a conclusion, but it appears abruptly and does not have a concluding statement before it. The focus of the paper stays on the benefits of watching T.V. The last sentence “If they’re going on vacation and what roads to take if they’re jammed” does not make sense as it is written and affects the logical order of the paper.
Style: There is not a lot of descriptive text, but the words “educational” and “jammed” add a little color to the paper. The use of “And” at the beginning of many of the sentences shows a lack of variation in sentence patterns and makes the paper repetitive.
Conventions: The writing contains mixed upper and lower case letters and the student does not seem to have a good grasp on rules for capitalization. The student uses punctuation, but some of the sentences are fragments. The words are crowded and backward letters are present as well.
Gloss: T.V. (title) I think T.V. is bad for you. It is also bad for your brain. Also I think you should watch 1 hour of T.V. a day. T.V. is also bad for you because it can influence you do bad things. So you have to be careful what you watch. T.V. can make you feel sick if you watch too much. It makes you not so smart if you watch it a lot. T.V. can make you tired and grumpy. Reading a book would be a much better choice.
T.V. is something that can make you not want to do anything else. It is hard to stop watching once you have started. T.V. can make you not want to play with anyone. You don’t usually get very good grades when you watch T.V. I think T.V. is a bad thing. Books are a much better choice.
Notes: Student writes multiple paragraphs supporting his or her opinion.
Ideas and Content: The writer uses a web to plan his or her ideas and includes many of the ideas in the paper. The writer addresses the topic of the prompt supports his or her opinion that T.V. is bad with specific examples (“Influence you to do bad things,” “make you sick,” “make you grumpy,” etc.).
Focus and Organization: The paper stays focused on the idea of T.V. being a bad idea, but the organization of the paper is not clear. The sentence “Also I think you should watch 1 hour of T.V. a day.” does not seem to fit with the other sentences. The writer concludes both paragraphs with the same sentence, “Books are a much better choice.” which, though redundant, could be for emphasis.
Style:The writer of this paper makes it clear that he or she is “pro books.” The language used is fairly flat except for the occasional interesting word like “influence” or “grumpy.
Conventions: The student uses capital letters and punctuation correctly. Grammar and spelling are grade-level appropriate.
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Last Modified: Friday, 24 July 2009