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Writing Rubric Score Explanation:
These samples are not intended to be benchmark papers for any particular score, but rather a sampling of the variety of papers a teacher might expect for a given prompt. Some students may be writing above or below the levels of work shown. The samples, however, are intended to give teachers help in scoring papers by showing the variety of ways students may approach a prompt.
Students receive a score of 2 if their work exhibits a solid overall demonstration of the criteria. Students receive a score of 1 when there is a question of whether the paper exhibits the criteria or if it is clear that the student only has a partial understanding of the criteria. Students receive a score of 0 when their work does not demonstrate the criteria at all, or shows no understanding of the criteria. It is important to look at the individual subsection scores as well as the student’s overall score because some students may have a deficit in one area that may not be evident from the total score.
Please note: These examples are from a 2006-2007 field test. The prompts and planning space have been adjusted since then, so students’ scores, especially in the ideas and content area, may be slightly different using the 2008-2009 assessments.
Gloss:My School Schedule (title) Have you ever switched schools? Since I am going a new school my schedule will have to change. I will find some breakfast. I check the weather to see what I should wear. I pack my lunch, but I expect to make it the night before. Above all that I must brush my teeth. And I’ll wait for my mom to drive me. I hope my new school will be fun every day.
Notes: Student writes standards paragraph.
Ideas and Content: The student uses the planning space to list ideas about getting ready for school. He or she includes details (get breakfast, pack lunch, brush teeth, etc.) about getting ready for school.
Organization and Focus: The paper is partially a paragraph about changing schools and partially a list of steps the writer does to get ready for school. The writer lists things he or she does, but does not clearly sequence the steps to make this a step-by-step instructional paragraph as the prompt requires. The writer has carefully organized the paper to have an introduction, a body, and a conclusion, but there is some confusion over the focus of the paper. It is unclear whether the focus is on switching schools or school schedules.
Style: A reader would not expect to find step-by-step instructions with vivid imagery, but one might expect clear and specific vocabulary (such as “healthy lunch, carefully comb, left side, first, lastly” etc.) Though this writer does not use specific instruction vocabulary, he or she uses the words “expect” and “schedule” which adds some color to the text. The writer does show knowledge of his or her audience, even posing a question to the reader.
Conventions: The student uses punctuation effectively, but has difficulty with spelling (writing “shold ware” for ”should wear” and “mack” for”make.”) The student does not use correct capitalization consistently at the beginning of sentences or in writing the word “I.”
Gloss: How I get Ready of School (title) The first thing I do to get ready is eat breakfast. The second thing I do is get dressed. Then I brush my hair. After that I pack my backpack. Finally I go outside to wait for the bus.
Notes: Student writes a sequential description of how he or she gets ready for school.
Ideas and Content: This paper, though well written, is similar in both content and wording to many that students write on this topic and thus scores a 1 for originality. The student makes a list of ideas and incorporates these into the essay. The writing clearly addresses the topic of the prompt (getting ready for school).
Organization and Focus:The paragraph is well-organized and focused. The writing is sequential as the prompt suggests, but is more of an explanation of a personal routine than step-by-step directions that someone else could follow. It thus receives a partial score in addressing the prompt’s genre. (The student’s planning page however was written in second person.) The use of sequential words (“after that,”) for transitions make the steps and the conclusion easy to identify.
Style: The sentences flow together well and are not redundant or repetitive. Transitions are used effectively to make the paper smooth. There are no words that add color to the writing, but since step-by-step instructions would not normally contain a lot of vivid writing, the student receives a 1 for using specific sequential vocabulary (“first,” “second,” “finally”) rather than simply repeated the same transition word such as “then.”
Conventions: The writer demonstrates a solid understanding of all grade level writing conventions.
Gloss: Ready for School! (title) This is how I get ready for school. First I wake up, of course. Next I go into our living room and spend time with my dad by reading the morning newspaper. Then I go back into my room and get dressed or wait for my mom to pick them out and then get dressed. After that, I go into our kitchen, tell my mom or dad what I would like, wait for them to make it, and then eat my breakfast. Next, I go into the bathroom and brush my teeth (and use the toilet if I need too). Then I go into my room and my mom brushes my hair. Next, I go into our living room, get my backpack, and see if everything I need is there. Last, I wait and when I see flashing lights down the road, I go outside in my driveway, get on the bus, and go to school! The most important thing to know is the time your bus comes. If you don’t know, you could be late for school. Anyway, that is how I get ready for school.
Notes: Student writes a descriptive essay that lists detailed steps of how he or she prepares for school.
Ideas and Content: The writer creates a list of ideas to incorporate in the story and checks them off as they are used. He or she develops the theme of getting ready for school with many elaborate details.
Organization and Focus: The paper is carefully and sequentially organized, but does not read like step-by-step instructions. At the end of the paper, the writer addresses the reader in second person, which does not follow the first-person focus of the rest of the paper.
Style: The writer uses lots of details and descriptions to elaborate on the steps to get ready for school. Though not as colorful as a traditional narrative, it definitely shows originality, with language beyond what you might expect from most directions and therefore receives a 2.
Conventions: This student uses advanced writing conventions (parenthetical remarks, complex sentence structure, and appropriate punctuation for a number of different sentence types). The words are spaced appropriately except where the student uses commas, but the commas clearly mark where the words are separated so the student is not scored lower for this. The handwriting is legible, and the student demonstrates that he or she knows how to form cursive letters even though the slant is not consistent.
Gloss:Step By Step Directions (title) First you have to wake up. Then you have to get dressed. Then you have to eat breakfast. Then you have to gather all you[r] belongings that you are going to bring to school. Then you get on the bus/car. Say good bye to parent or guardian. Go inside the building. Go to your classroom.
Notes: Student writes step-by-step instructions on how to get ready for school.
Ideas and Content: Though the student did not use a planning sheet, the ideas are complete and address the content of the prompt. Though the steps are common to most children, there is some originality in the wording used such as “gather all of your belongings.”
Focus and Organization: This writer effectively creates instructions that could easily be followed to accomplish the task of getting ready for school. He or she thus receives full credit for solidly addressing the requirements of the prompt.
Style: The strength of this paper is its ability to appeal to a wide audience. It is clear from the tone (using second person, giving options of “bus/car” and “parent or guardian”) that the writer understands that he or she is writing instructions for a larger audience rather than merely telling how he or she gets ready for school. The variety of sentence patterns could be improved if fewer sentences began with “Then.” Words such as “guardian” and “belongings” add a little color to the text, and the writer uses one sequential vocabulary word “first.”
Conventions: The writer does not follow standard conventions for capitalization since he or she uses capital letters in the middle of words. Because the writer does however capitalize the beginning of sentences, it is clear that there is some understanding of capitalization. Punctuation and spaces between words are used consistently. Grade-level words are spelled appropriately. Although “your” is spelled “you,” it appears to be an omission rather than a true misunderstanding/misuse.
Gloss: How to Get Ready for School (title) The first thing you do to get ready for school is to wake yourself up. It is probably best to be woken up by an alarm clock or parent. The second thing you do is to get dressed. It is very helpful if you lay your clothes the night before so you can get them on faster. The third thing you do is eat your breakfast. You should try to eat a healthy breakfast like cereal or eggs because a healthy breakfast will help you do well in school. Next, you brush your teeth for 1 minute. Then, you brush or comb your hair. After that, you collect your lunchbox or get your lunch money if necessary. Then you check in your backpack to see if you have homework or notes. Finally you go outside to get on the bus or in a car if your parents are driving.
Notes: Student writes detailed step-by-step instructions on how to get ready for school.
Ideas and Content: Though many of the ideas for getting ready for school are fairly common (“get dressed”) this student adds some originality to the piece with ideas like “try to eat a healthy breakfast.” The student lists the steps to include in the paragraphs on the planning page and adds some ideas that were not on the planning page as well. The ideas clearly demonstrate an understanding of the prompt topic.
Organization and Focus: The paper is well organized with words such as “first,” “next,” “after that,” etc. The format of the writing follows the required instructional “how-to” writing requested in the prompt. The conclusion is appropriate for this type of writing, though the structure of the sentence is a little awkward.
Style: The writer demonstrates an understanding of audience with the use of the second person, and tips to the reader such as “it is very helpful....” Though the writer uses only one adjective (“healthy”), he or she does use some specific sequence vocabulary which would be typical for an instructional paragraph such as this.
Conventions: The student demonstrates a good understanding of punctuation, grammar, and capitalization. The words are spaced so that they can be easily read (though some crowding at punctuation marks) and letters are formed correctly. Correct spelling of grade level words is solid even though words such as “neccisary,” and “brekfast” are misspelled.
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Last Modified: Friday, 24 July 2009